So I hear some jock-type guy, probably in his early 20's, yelling REALLY loud, "HEATHER! HEATHER!" He passes directly in front of my house, at which point I hear some of his ramblings clearly: "Oh God, she's the only one who can help me. Oh no! Oh, please, HEATHER!" I don't think he was drunk, and it didn't sound like he was really desperate; more like he thought he was the hero in a terribly romantic episode of Dawson's Creek.
He wanders back across the street, presumably to "Heather"'s house, and continues carrying on, just as a friend of mine used to do whilst begging money from his parents as a teenager: sometimes wheedling, sometimes threatening, and sometimes "crying."
I figured soon enough the cops would come, or he'd tire, or Heather would relent and let him in, but at this point it took an unexpected turn:
Some guy opens his door and yells at the guy very angrily: "It's 12:30 in the morning and you're out here screaming and yelling 'Kevin!' Shut the fuck up or I'm calling the cops!" I got the distinct feeling he was partially so unsympathetic because he thought Brokeback Mountain had just arrived on his street and he didn't feel quite ready for that.
The next few exchanges were mostly unintelligible, although I think I heard Dr. Love say snottily, "Come out here and say that."
"You're out here screaming and yelling at 12:30 in the morning and now you're threatening me?? I'm calling the cops."
Somberly, seriously: "I'm in love, dude."
"I DON'T CARE!" *slam*